女m捆绑体验：我和绳师在黑暗中共舞，寻找爱与自由的瞬间
Rope
In one way or the other
I am always tied up.
My mind is tied up by my body.
My life is tied up by my destiny.
And all of them
Are tied up by all types of norms.
But as my body stops to run,
My mind starts to dance.
From the window of the locked room,
My spirit starts to fly.
with the expectation of getting tied up by the Shibari master, I went to Shibari Open Session. I told the master Davide that I prefer more warmth and less pain.
带着被缚的期待，去了参加了绳缚活动，我跟绳师老戴说，我希望能感受到温暖，少一些疼痛。
Although he suggested that I cover my eyes with a blindfold, I preferred to watch freely and shut my eyes whenever I want to.
尽管他建议我蒙上眼睛，但我更喜欢可以在任何喜欢时候睁开或闭上眼睛。
Davide was sitting at my back. The whole world fell into silence when he started.
Davide坐在我后面，当他开始缚我的时候，整个世界陷入了宁静。
The rope slowly slipped through my neck. I could feel the rough surface of the rope. It was tightened and choked me a little, but I felt safe.
绳子缓慢划过我的脖子，我可以感受到它表面的粗糙。他勒紧绳子，我感到了一瞬间的窒息，但是感觉很安全
The rope went through my chest and arms. I looked into the mirror and saw myself got both my arms tied at my back,I liked the way I look.
绳子穿过我胸部与手臂，我看着镜中的自己，此时双臂被缚在身后。我喜欢这样的自己。
I took a look at the audience and straightened up my back. I closed my eyes and could feel the rope turning over and over around my arms and beatifull knots were being tied one by one.
我看了一眼观众，伸直了后背，闭上眼睛，感受绳子一圈又一圈地缠绕在我的双臂，打下一个个美丽的绳结。
My body started to shake slightly following the change of positions, which reminded me of the feeling of sitting on a boat following the motion of waves.
随着姿势的改变，我的身体开始轻轻摇动，就好像坐在小船上，随着水流向前。
The rope went through my belly like a snake and suddenly got tightened. I felt the sharp pain and groaned a little.
绳子像一条蛇一样穿过我的腹部，突然收紧，我感到一阵剧烈的疼痛，呻yin了一下。
I was pulled from my back to his chest. I heard his breath went in and out slowly over and over beside my ears.
Davide把我拉向他的怀中，我听到他的呼吸声在我耳边进进出出。
The pain was relieved together with all my past stress as I tried to follow his breath.
当我试图他同频呼吸之时，疼痛与过去我所有的压力一起得到了释放。
I began to feel nervous when I was pushed to the ground. I looked back and noticed a sling went down from the ceiling.
当我被推向地面时，开始感到紧张，扭头向后看了一下，天花板上多了一个吊绳。
The rope went through my left leg. Davide was trying to suspend my leg to the ceiling.
绳子绕过了我的左腿。Davide是想把我的腿吊向天花板。
Actually, he was trying to suspend my whole body through my leg. "No…Not this time..." I thought.
实际上，他是想通过我的腿吊起我的整个身体。“不行...这回可不行...”我心想。
A flash of pain went through my thigh as the ring through my leg was pulled up high. I became a bit scared.
当我腿上的绳圈猛地被向上拉起，一阵痛楚闪过了我的大腿。我有些胆怯。
I tried to put up my leg straight into the air following the position of the rope. My leg went perpendicular to the ground. "I hope that's it." I thought.
顺着绳子运动的方向，我试着将腿直挺挺地抬起。我的腿与地面成了垂直的角度。“最好就到此为止吧。”我心想着。
Davide tightened a ring of rope around my big toe. I had never got my toe tied before. My toe tingled and I got even more nervous. I thought I might get a spasm.
他在我的大脚趾上拉紧了一圈绳。我的脚趾从没被这样绑过。那一点绷紧的刺痛使我更加紧张，生怕下一秒可能就会抽筋。
He tried to get another ring of rope around my knee so he could use that to pull up my leg further.
他又试着在我的膝盖绕了一圈绳以便把我的腿进一步往上拽。
I didn't think it was a good idea. A sudden thought went through my mind: “I need to show him it wouldn’t balance.” I started to go against him.
我可不觉得那是个好主意。心念一闪：“我得让他知道这样可不平衡。”我开始同他对抗。
I tilted my leg and that ring felt off. Davide kept trying to pull up that rope, so my leg went up further.
我把腿略歪了一下，那个绳圈就坠了下来。他又接着把绳子往上拽，这样一来我的腿又被牵得更加往上了。
To maintain balance and minimize the stress on my leg, I started to stand on my shoulder in the way I learnt from Yoga.
为了保持平衡并把腿上的压力尽量降低，我开始用肩膀撑起身体，做起了瑜伽中的肩倒立。
Davide must had noticed that I didn't want to go any further. He put me back to the ground
他一定是意识到我不想再继续往上了。便把我放回了地面。
My legs were tied up in a crossed position. And my head was gently pulled to my legs. That made me feel safe again.
我的双腿被十字缚住，我的头被轻轻地拉向我的双腿，这让我感到再次安全。
I closed my eyes. He pulled me to the ground and pulled me back to his chest. That was warm.
我闭上双眼，他把我放在地面之后又把我拉向他的怀中，怀抱感觉很温暖。
I laid myself back to the waves in the darkness. He pulled my hair once but that didn’t hurt.
我躺在黑暗中的波浪上，他再一次的拉扯我的头发，但是并不痛
I began to feel peaceful. I forgot who I was. And I forgot who he was.
我开始感到很宁静平和，忘了自己是谁，忘了他是谁。
I tried to follow the speed of his breath. I felt that we were just part of the universe.
我试着跟上他呼吸的节奏，感觉我们只是宇宙中的一部分。
The rope was gradually taken off. The rope went off my belly, my chest and my arms. Finally, it was all off.
绳子慢慢的被解开。绳子穿过我的腹部、胸部、双臂。最终落在各处。
I laid between his elbows holding the rope between my hands. With my eyes closed, I was surrounded by his warmth. I felt like falling into a dream and waking up at the same time.
我的双手握住绳子，躺在他的臂弯之间。我的双眼紧闭，他的温暖包裹着我，我感觉自己陷入了梦境，又在同一时间醒来。
At the end, we hugged, and I said: "Thank you."
最后，我们拥抱了一下，对他说了声：“谢谢。”
Davide commented that it would be better if I got the blindfold on, so there would be no expectations for me. And there would be no distractions because I wouldn't be able to look at myself in the mirror.
Davide 说如果我戴了眼罩就不会有预想，这样效果会好得多。而且如果那样，我就不能够从镜子里看到自己，也就不会有额外的干扰。
I agreed that might be a completely different experience. But, after thinking about it over and over after that event, I realized that for me, putting the blindfold on meant paying a lot of trust.
我认同，如果那样，将会是一场完全不同的体验。不过，在那次经历后我也反复思考过并意识到对我来说，戴上眼罩意味着要付出很多的信任。
I could be accepting things that are unpleasant or even scary sometimes. Not everyone knows how I would feel at every moment, including myself.
在这过程中我有可能会接受一些不愉快甚至令人恐惧的体验。并不是每一个人都会知道我在每一刻的感觉会是怎样的。包括我自己。
Sometimes even a pleasant experience with a blindfold on could make me feel depressive as I think about it afterwards.
有时，一个戴着眼罩的过程哪怕当场让我感到愉悦，在事后回想时也可能会(因为一些当场没能注意到，事后让人不舒服的事)感到沮丧。
If I could keep an eye on that, I would feel much safer by staying consent whenever I want to.
如果我能够时刻留意，在想知情时随时知情，这样会更有安全感。
Maybe one day, I can do it once more with a blindfold on. Maybe that would require more mutual familiarity and understanding between the two.
也许有一天，我能够戴上眼罩再体验这个过程。或许那时候就会需要我和对方有更多的彼此熟悉和理解了。
It was an unforgettable experience. I felt thankful to Davide for his patience and warmth.
我很感激绳师Davide给了我一次难忘的经历。
I felt the intimacy between us within that moment, and it has nothing to do with erotics.
在那一瞬间，我感到我们两个人之间很亲密，无关任何情色
It was like a dance between two. It required two people keeping on the same steps and sharing the same emotion.
就好像是两个人之间的一场共舞，要求两个人保持同一步调，感知同样的情感
Once that balance is reached, it would be just beautiful.
一旦达到平衡，便只剩下美好
Giving and receiving. Connection and understanding.
给予和接纳，链接和理解。
It was a type of love that could happen between all human beings.
像是发生在任何人与人之间的一场爱恋一样。
And I would always remember feeling that type of love as I felt his warmth and breath with my arms tied and my eyes closed.
我会永远记住，当我的双手被束缚，我的双眼紧闭，感受到他的呼吸，他的温暖，那种爱的感觉
写在最后 ：
Davide described the art of rope as a cocktail mixed with some emotions (or emotional connections), some erotics and some BDSM(which I would prefer to name as "pleasant pains").
在Davide的理念中， 绳缚的艺术好比一杯混合了情感（连接），情欲和虐恋(BDSM，在我看来是愉悦的疼痛感)的鸡尾酒。
Everyone was free to choose their favorite types of cocktails. I saw this as a poetic expression.
每个人都有自由去选择他们最喜爱的那一款。我认为这种表达很诗意。
From my perspective, connection was the best part of all. The pains are part of the connection, and the connection is what makes the pains worthy and beautiful.
在我看来，连接（或牵绊）是我的鸡尾酒最美好的那部分。牵绊包含着疼痛，也正是这份牵绊的情感赋予了那些疼痛美好和价值，如玫瑰的刺。
It is just like a cup of expresso. Once you fall in love with that fragrance, you fall in love with the whole coffee, including that inseparable bitter taste.
正如一杯浓缩的咖啡。你一旦恋上了它浓郁温暖的芬芳，你便恋上了整杯咖啡，包括那一份不可分割的苦涩。
As I recalled, “Davide” was an Italian name which belonged to a male rope artist with brown hair on his head, brown beard on his face and a string of rope, which was also kind of brown, in his hand.
在我记忆中， “Davide” 是个意大利名。这个名字的主人是一个绳师。他头顶棕发，面生棕须，连手中握着的绳也带了些棕褐色
Although I have never been to Italy. As far as I heard, it is a country of romance, which reminds me of streets with small red houses on the sides，and colourful flowers blooming beside the windows of those houses.
尽管我从来没有去过意大利，但听说，那是一个浪漫的国度，我想应该是街道两边都是红色房子，房子的窗户上面都放满了开的盛艳的五颜六色的花儿。
The streets are immersed in the fragrance of flowers, sunshine, coffee and fresh cheese.
街道到处弥漫着花朵、阳光、咖啡、和奶酪的芬芳
That type of romance should be different from the romance of Paris, which reminds me of the smell of handmade perfumes. Italy is much closer to nature. Nature brings freedom.
那种浪漫应该与巴黎的浪漫不同，让我想起那些手工香氛的味道，意大利相比巴黎，更接近大自然，而自然带来自由。